There’s a lot of debate in the hookup culture when it comes to moral and ethical concerns, despite the freedoms it seems to offer. If you are out and about in the world, it’s easy to have sex and then get over it, but the same cannot be said for consequences. Sex can be dirty, and often times that has nothing to do with the sex itself.
“We don’t speak about the risks of casual sex. That just kind of grosses us out,” says Juliana. “But we don’t talk about the benefits. It’s been a big thing for me, finding out that, even though most of my friends are casual, I’m still happy with myself, and I’m still healthy. I think that’s the first thing I need to tell people — that I’m healthy. I’m healthy and I’m happy. That’s the main thing.”
The difference between casual and serious sex
In the minds of men and women, the two terms might not be that far apart. While some people don’t distinguish between them, others find that casual sex is more of an all-encompassing term that can encompass everything from three-to-four-hour hookups to long-term relationships. Where these two categories might differ is in expectations.
In the world of casual sex, there can be fewer rules and restrictions. Studies have shown that sex with a new partner has fewer consequences than if you’re being sexual with someone you’ve been with for years.
But many find this uncomfortably isolating. There isn’t much warning as to whether that first hook-up you get after months of being with someone is going to be casual, or whether it’s going to be something longer-term.
It’s not necessarily some kind of moral failing, but if you’re just beginning to find sex to be a valuable experience, it’s sometimes all the more confusing. It’s ultimately up to you whether or not you’re more comfortable hooking up casually. The latter simply means casual.
Is casual sex immoral?
There are as many opinions on the matter as there are people who have, or haven’t, done it. “I’ve always been told that casual sex is not good,” says Juliana. “I
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App Focused on Men
Hookup apps, on the other hand, are geared towards just that — hooking up. These apps are made to simplify casual sex and are a shortcut to instant gratification in a way that the world of dating is not. To be clear, you don’t have to use one of these apps for something you aren’t ready for. You’re just getting the best of both worlds — the accessibility of dating without all the hassles and finding that special person with just as much, if not more, passion.
More enticing than Match, Bumble, and other hookup apps is the reality of online dating. While you still have to meet a slew of new people (often face to face), you have the freedom to be picky. You’re still the star of your own show, but one that only shows you parts of someone who doesn’t excite you. On these casual dating apps, you’re the director, so you get to show everyone who’s worthy of your time and attention.
Since casual dating apps were on the rise, there’s been little attention paid to their sexual nature. While Bumble founder and CEO Erin Egan says she wants Bumble to be a « happy place, » she had the word « couple » removed from the app because she realized that instead of expanding that idea, Bumble was limiting it. The clear theme of the app is that you’re hooking up with someone without a real relationship and to Egan, that’s something only you should do.
The problem with the casual dating app is that it’s equal parts awesome and terrible. Awesome because, even when you’re looking for casual sex, it’s rare that you’re going to have to figure out how to make it work. The apps have incredible compatibility algorithms and smarter profiles than you could have ever written. This makes it easy to find someone who is interested in you even if you don’t quite find them — a welcome change from the dating world. And the apps are great because they are not only mobile, but also allow for quick communication, allowing you to bypass the initial awkwardness of meeting someone in person.
But the apps aren’t free of potential problems. You have to be fine with a casual hookup, if that’s what you’re looking for. The apps help people use a digital hookup as a refuge from relationships, and that means that as much as they make casual sex accessible, they also breed dissatisfaction. You’re not as invested in your casual sex partner as